Swimming against the tide.

I have been accused of being WAY too positive on more than one occasion.  I work very hard to find the silver lining in every dark cloud, the positive in every situation, the good in the ugly and bad.  Lately though I’ve been finding myself struggling with life feeling as if I am attempting to swim in goo and the harder I try to get where I want to go the harder it gets.  I recently heard a speaker talk about our “favorite bad feeling”, you know, the thing you do when you are upset.  I have 3 favorite bad feelings (4 actually)….they all center around one thing, escape.  1. I want to get buried in a book. 2. Get lost in a game on line or on the Wii. 3. I want to sit in a dark, empty cave and bawl like a baby cause life simply isn’t being fair!  OR….I fly off the handle and yell and scream and gripe and complain and generally drive everyone close to me far away thus again creating an “escape”.  I bring this up because right now I REALLY want to chose any one of my 4 most favorite escapes to decompress from life and hope that while I’m decompressing the frustrations I’m facing will simply disappear, only I know that they will still be there and likely have multiplied by the time I resurface from my escape method and it really didn’t solve anything.   So, instead, I’m looking towards the only One who can truly help in times like these (0r any times) and trust in Him.  I KNOW God has a purpose in any struggle I am going through and that He has a purpose in this one as well.  Proverbs 3:5-6 says to “Trust in the Lord Your God always and lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”  It’s better to face this life head on with prayer, a  “big girl” attitude (versus a little girl who stomps her feet and demands that life change!), and a complete trust that God has it all in control even though my life feels like it is spinning out of control.

Just for the record, no my life hasn’t taken some horrible twist and I’m not teetering on any horrible thing, the simple fact is this life is hard and sometimes it feels much harder than it does at other times and right now life just seems harder than it has in the past few months.  I just finished reading a book by Lisa TerkHuerst called “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God” and she talks about how there are different stages that occur repeatedly in our walk with the Lord and I “know” I am going through one of the more difficult stages. I am holding on to the truth of God’s word with all I have knowing that in the end, this too will work out. Thanks for letting me ramble!


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